thehobbitgangster

Wow this poem is almost right in time for Earth Day!! (that seemed like the message to me anyway :) ) Interesting rhyme at the end there, but I suppose ...

I really liked the imagery in this poem. I felt like I could actually think of what type of butterfly it really which aided in picturing the rest of the ...

I think this is interesting because when I usually think haiku I think of nature related poems or somewhat weather related. Maybe in the third stanza second line if you ...

I agree with sealegs and crescent. This seems to be an awesome ending for a dramatic song. Maybe for the beginning you can write how each character is feeling, you ...

Hello there! So I have just a few thoughts on this piece. Firstly, in the first stanza where you say satin's i think you were trying to mean Satan, like ...

Hi! So I really like your song. It was so creative. I think it's really cool that you wrote about a zombie attack because it seems like so many songs ...

This was very pretty. It sort of reminds me of Yeats' poetry a little bit. I agree that some of the rhyme scheme seems a bit off along with the ...

Yeah, more dialogue would be makes things easier to understand. You have mostly stage directions now, and it's a bit hard to follow. I wish it was a little longer ...

Whoa, super suspenseful! That's scary to introduce a gun to people who've never seen or used one before! I feel like Norman almost needs a more sinister speech (that's maybe ...

This is a very interesting opening. I agree that perhaps it shouldn't be before the opening titles. I have just one suggestion, which is to maybe add how old the ...

Ha I loved the ending of this poem! The anxiety in this piece almost made me a little nervous! It would have been even better if you had thought of ...

Well, I have to agree that this poem had an important story in it, but the errors in it from some parts in the rhyme scheme to spelling errors made ...

What a sad story. It was very good though aside from the few little mistakes. One thing when you were describing the cars as oxidized metal there was a "there" ...

aw that was a cute ending!! I enjoyed this story's take on the future. A gigantic restaurant, the hunger ful-filling pills, it was all very creative. One thing is when ...

This is sort of a scary story for romantic fiction so far. It's good though and I really can't wait to find out what is going to happen to the ...