thegilliangill

Hey I'm going to review your work! :D Usually repetition so close together doesn't work but this really does, and a nice opening sentence :D Pain. Burning, searing pain crept ...

Hey, This is a really good idea! The use of the word layed does not quite flow, and it breaks up the first sentence, you need to put a stronger ...

Hey I'm going to review your work :D If the killer is going to kill Finnick anyway why does he need an explaination, why not just get it over with...are ...

Hey I'm going to review your work! Repetition, and pattern three included in one, this is a good idea, and really helps this piece to gain a setting! Don’t scream. ...

Hey I am going to review your work today! Nice name...Nazar..I am interested in how you first thought of this! Nazar roared in rage. I think you mean "You're imbecile!... ...

Hey, I am gonna review your work today :D She needs a capital letter! she cocked her head to watch her sister, Lucy, wake up in a panic from underneath ...

Hey I'm going to review your work! :D Nice opening, very interestin vocabulary 'twep'. I guess this is a teenager speaking? Cody, you ungrateful twerp! I think instead of head ...

Hey I am going to review your work :D I don't think you need the word 'the' after around, it will flow better without it! I hear whispers around the ...

Hey I see no reviews..I'm gonna change that :D Damon is an interesting name! I like it! "Damon! Don't!" This starts off well I like the idea that an old ...

Hey I noticed that you have no reviews so I'm here :D I'm not sure the lay in wait makes sense I think you need to rephrase the end of ...

Hey I am going to review your work :D i really like this sentence it really gives you a feel of where your going with this! We betray to conquer, ...

Hey I am going to review your work I am not sure this sentence makes sense, the repetition of hopes does not work, I think you need to change the ...

Hey I am going to review your work:D I agree with soink here, it does sound like you haven't checked through, or used spell check, but here is the spellings ...

Hey I am going to review your work :D I'm not really sure this sentence makes sense, its the began comming bit, it stops the flow of the piece. People ...

Hey I am going to review your work :D Nice opening! I never liked my name. It stands for everything I hate, everything I’m ashamed of. I don't understand how ...