thecamillecalalas

Honestly, I felt butterflies in my tummy while I was reading this story. Even though I haven't read Part One, this piece already made me blush especially with this line: ...

Hey, you've got a great piece here! I like fantasy stories, and this one indeed gave me the feeling that I was reading one, like when I was into fairy ...

Hi there! Well, I can't quite tell if you have improved on this part for I haven't read the first part. But still, I think I'm catching up. You really ...

'Twas in a broad afternoon breeze, that I found myself strolling in the school oval grounds playing with the grasshoppers hopping nowhere. Fate seemed to tell me to glance from ...

This is like a monologue, for me. The idea of this story is good. The way you portrayed your character is convincing, which is also a good sign. But I ...

Well, you're really a writer. There's creativity in your story and I like your choice of words. But I think you overdid making sentences short. Short sentences are a must ...

Hello :) First, I can say that the start of the story is really good. I was like, WOW. I caught a glimpse of your age on the left pane ...

First story I've read here in YWS that has a lot of humor! Now, the title makes sense to me and everything. This is so fun to read. I can't ...

Well, the moment I started reading this, I thought it's just a letter, and I was right. But yeah, it has a story. It's just that you made it seem ...

First, I suggest that you try working on how you start your story. Remember that the first paragraph of any literary piece should grab the interest of the readers. Practice ...

This story is heavy, really heavy. And you've made it seem like, you're capable enough to be in this level. I see no doubt from you as you wrote the ...

This is the kind of piece I'm sure teenagers will choose to read. I like the way you made Jared a sweet, loving, and lonely friend. I know all your ...

This is sad. And you had successfully managed to make your readers feel that "this is going to be a sad story" since the beginning. Your words are wonderful, too. ...