The Princess and the Stones, Chapter 2

FloralTiara wrote:"I won't let go until you surrender!"

"Can you at the very least get off, you're crushing me!"

"Not until you surrender, Simon!"

"Maria!"

Maria simply laughed at her captive. She sat on his stomach and forced him to wrestle back. Held down by his wrist, Simon struggled to get away. #FF4000 ">If he is being sat on, than how is he only being held down by his wrist? He may have been well over a head taller than Maria, but there was no way he was stronger.

"Maria Leighna Harmoniac!" A woman yelled from across the field. "Let the poor boy go!"

"Alright, alright." Maria rolled her eyes and let her grip go. If there was one person that she wouldn't say no to, it was this woman, her adoptive mother, Moraca.#FF0000 ">You might just be able to get rid of that sentence and let the reader figure it out.

The plump little elf made her way across the field and over the hill to where her two children were. She rested her hands on her hips and shook her head. "You two shall be the death of me. I swear it."

Simon groaned with pain as he sat up again. He would have yelled at his younger sister, if the injuries hadn't been caused by his own struggling. #FF0000 ">Because it was his fault in the first place, he remained silent. You can get rid of this sentence. "How did you get so strong?" He asked, as he rubbed his injured wrist.

"The very opposite way you got so weak." Maria said with a smirk. She gave him an innocent, playful shove. Now, she loved Simon as dearly as a girl could love her brother, but he just made it so easy to torment him. It wasn't as if she could ignore such an opportunity.

"Haha, funny." Simon muttered sarcastically, as he pulled himself off the ground.

Maria thought to herself about how the last fight had been in her favour. The competition had been of strength and not wit, for if it were for wit, she certainly would have lost. No one was smarter than Simon. #FF0000 ">She considered telling him about these thoughts, but she chose not to boost his ego, after all, she'd never live it down. Again, this sentence isn't nessesary.
"Very." She said proudly.

"You've really got to learn to stop challenging me Simon. You'll only end up hurt again."
Maria smiled proudly as she stood up. Yet another victory over her brother.

Moraca shook her head. "Sooner or later Maria, you'll have to start acting like a lady. Seeing as you'll be sixteen tomorrow, sooner would be much better."

Maria shook her head. "It's better to love me the way I am, rather than make me something I'm not, Mum."

"I know, I know dear." Moraca said, followed by a sigh. Maria was hopeless, she'd probably never give up her carefree ways, it just wasn't worth fighting. "Go clean yourself up for supper now, both of you."

The two stood up and attempted to dust themselves off. As always, Simon only managed to received a few specks of dust on his shirt, while Maria's short pink dress and short pants were decorated with large green splotches that she knew would be near impossible to remove. She stared at the spots, rather confused. How had Simon been
the one to be pinned to the ground and not have one stain? Maria shook her head and decided to drop it. Some things just weren't meant to be questioned.

The Harmoniacs lived on the west end of the small farm village, the farthest home from the hill. In between the two places, there were fifteen homes, where the forty-eight residents of Asiati lived.

In the centre of the was the town hall. The villagers were running in and out of the hall, carrying decorations, rolls of fabric, and instruments.

"Mum?" Maria asked, as watch her neighbours buzz around like bees.

"Yes?"

"Why is everyone else preparing for my birthday celebration and not us?"

"It's an Asiatian tradition. Something to do with a surprise, to symbolize the sudden shock of adult responsibilities..." Moraca paused and for a brief moment lost herself in though. "or something like that. Nobody in the village really knows for sure. Not even Mayor Tren knows."

Simon pointed to the oldest building in the village. "What about Mrs. Kairen? She's been around for three and a half centuries, she must know."

Mrs. Kairen was the village founder. She was a kind old woman, who had always been rather suspicious of Maria. Then again, Mrs. Kairen was always suspicious of newcomers.

Moraca took a glance at the town hall to see the ageing woman sitting in the worn out chair near the door, absent-mindedly watching the villagers pass by. "Three and a half millenniums, Simon. I doubt she remembers, even if she does know."

Simon shrugged, not really interested in questioning further. He likely hadn't cared in the first place, and was only asking to start a conversation.

As they three drew near, a tiny voice began to cry out from the Harmoniac farm house. "Moraca! Aunt Moraca, I need help!" A young girl peered out the window, a frantic expression on her face. Her normally wispy blond hair was plastered to her forehead with sweat.

Moraca simply let out a frustrated groan. "What did that child do this time?" She picked up speed and began to run to the house, just in case that it was a rare occasion that her niece was in danger.

Of course, she wasn't. "Iliana! It's not smoke, it's steam! Relax child!" Moraca's voice could be heard from the front gate that lead to the house. Simon and Maria exchanged glances, before both bursting into laughter. This wasn't the first time Iliana had overreacted, and it most certainly wouldn't be the last.

The two fought back laughter as they entered the house, in a desperate attempt not to upset the frantic farm girl. Iliana had only the best intentions, but rarely ever did she succeed at what she was attempting.

She gently lifted the metal pot from the stove and poured it's contents into a porcelain bowl. "Supper's ready." She mumbled, staring down at the bowl.

"Ooo! That soup smells delicious Illie!" Maria cheered in a desperate attempt to cheer her cousin up.

Ironically, it did the opposite. "It's supposed to be Cairien Swamp Pie..." Iliana mumbled.

Simon leaned over the pot and inhaled the sweet fumes. "Isn't Cairien Swamp Pie supposed to be mostly solid? And rather bitter?"

This remark earned the young elf a powerful elbow to the stomach from his sister.
"Ow! Maria, why did you do that?"

Iliana began to sob dramatically, and dropped down to the table, hiding her face in her hands. "I'll never be a good wife! I'm doomed!" She wailed.

By now, Maria had grown rather apathetic. "Is that all you care about? Being a good wife?" Iliana looked up and nodded. "But there is so much more out there!"

Iliana tilted her head to the side and wrinkled her nose in confusion. "Like what?"

Maria jumped up on the stairs and pulled the sword from over the door. "Like adventure! Fighting pirates, swinging on ropes from ship to ship!" She put the sword back, and pulled a cloak around her. "Or sneaking into a guarded castle, just for the thrill!" She threw the cloak back on it's hook. "Or--"

"Risking your life doing foolish things that will in no way benefit you Maria?" Moraca asked. She didn't have to even look at her daughter when she said these words. The tone of her voice, both maternal and sarcastic, portrayed her expression for her. She poured the 'pie' into five separate bowls, and set them in front of each of the wooden chairs. "Come on now, eat up."

The three teenagers took their usual seats and slowly began to eat. Silence filled the room for a mere moment, before Iliana chose to speak again. "So Maria, does this mean you aren't going to marry?"

Maria scoffed. "Of course not! I don't want to be tied down. What fun would that be?"

Moraca shook her head. "You have more than enough fun Maria. I doubt your opinion will stay the same forever though." She stood up and turned to the door. "Where is your father? I'm off to find him, before his soup gets cold."

"It's pie." Iliana grumbled bitterly. The others ignored her.

"Mum's right Maria. After all, I hear that Petah Narcin is rather smitten with you!" Simon teased, peering out the side window to see the Harmoniac's hired stable hand.

Maria's face scrunched up with disgust. "Eww, are you trying to make me vomit in your soup?"

"It's pie!" Iliana hissed, only to be ignored again.

"Don't be a hypocrite Simon, you aren't considering marriage either!" Maria snapped.

"Awful touchy." Iliana mumbled.

Simon nodded in agreement. "What do you have against marriage anyway Maria?"

"It's none of your concern, Simon." Maria mumbled, taking a large spoonful of soup. She chewed slowly, in her had believeing that the longer it took her to eat, the less time Simon would have to ask questions.

Simon shrugged, and continued to eat. "I guess it's not. You know, it's probably some subconsious thought from your past. That's what Dr. Faciere says. He says that despite the damage done to your head from that fall may have caused you to forget, your memories must still be locked away, and deep down, they affect your."

Iliana bit and her spoon and appeared to be deep in thought. "Maybe she was engaged before."

Maria had wished that Iliana and Simon had dropped the subject. Secretly, she knew everything of her past, about Oreon, about her parents, about her disappearance, and things that she shouldn't have known about. As much as she'd love to tell them both everything, and free her guilty conscience from the lies that she'd been spinning over the past three years, she knew she couldn't. They wouldn't understand. They might not even accept her for what she really was.

She pushed the bowl to the centre of the table and stood up. "Thank you for supper Illie, it was delicious. I haven't ever had soup so sweet!"

"You're welcome... It was supposed to be bitter..." Iliana muttered, staring down at the bowl.

"Well, I'm off to the stables, Sonia's not going to clean her own stable now, is she?"

And with that, Maria slipped out the door and out of site. To Iliana, it seemed normal. Maria did tend to go out to the stables after supper. Simon, however, thought otherwise. Maria never ate that fast, she liked to talk and gossip over a meal rather than rush. Something was bothering her,#FF0000 "> and being the good big brother he was, you don't need this bit., Simon was determined to find out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey! Stella here! This is pretty long for a YWS piece. However. You had me hooked at the word princess.

I. NITPICKS

"Very." She said proudly.

"Three and a half millenniums, Simon. I doubt she remembers, even if she does know."

"You have more than enough fun Maria.

it's probably some subconsious thought from your past.

they affect your."

Something was bothering her, and being the good big brother he was, Simon was determined to find out.

Hey, you've got a great piece here! I like fantasy stories, and this one indeed gave me the feeling that I was reading one, like when I was into fairy tale books as a child, only this piece is more mature and have reached a young writer's level. I don't know if this part has an improvement because I haven't read part one. I also got a bit confused about the exact setting of the story, what kind of people the characters were, and what they wore and how they were raised. It's either that all of the details I wanted were in the part one and I just missed them or you just lacked details in introducing your characters to us. However, you've written good lines that made this piece not hard for me to like. Keep up the good work, continue writing this piece, and give it your best shot!!

-Cam