swissgirl

A good little story and some parts of it even sound poetical. Maybe that's just because some words rhyme, but I think it gives it a nice flow and creates ...

Ok, first some things that I think could need some refinement:in the sixth paragraph you wrote "I felt everything", but I don't really get, what that everything is. A few ...

A very cute little poem! I love that it has a consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. Also it's nice that you use so many words that start with some- in ...

I love that this little story starts and ends with the same sentence, it rounds everything up very well. I also like how you use lots of short, simple sentences, ...

I think it's not that bad. At some places there is a rhythm that works well, but then that rhythm is broken again. I stumbled upon some of the words ...