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summergrl13

  • Poetry » Fanfiction, General Re: Rose

    This is really cute! I enjoyed this, and it kind of made me picture this as a children's book. I could imagine pictures to go with this as sort of ...

    Jun 29, 2015
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Literature Re: "No pain, No mercy, No guilt."

    Wow. This blew me out of the water. It sheds some light on the destruction and truth of war. I don't have much to criticize individually, as it's pretty grammatically ...

    Jun 10, 2015
  • Short Story » General, Teen Fiction Re: Rat?

    I liked this, it was, if you don't mind me saying so, cute. It was different from most of the somber stories I see on here. "YES, a girl and ...

    Jun 10, 2015
  • Poetry » Romantic, Lyrical Re: For You

    Great poem! I think you did a great job putting your feelings into words. "I could wrap you up with what I feel." I love this line! It makes me ...

    Jun 10, 2015
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Aidel, my little brother.

    Hello there! Just want to start off by saying this is a good little poem. I like the emotions behind it, it felt raw and honest. [Your caring hand that ...

    Jun 9, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Teen Fiction Re: Travel With My Heart

    Hi Maisie :D Summer here, your first official reviewer ;) might I say you have a very good story line, and I look forward to seeing more :D now on ...

    Apr 8, 2012
  • Lyrics » Humor, Satire Re: Trillionaire

    Hi :D I'm just gonna be brief because there really is only one issue: it's unoriginal and only a few words have been changed around. People only have to read ...

    Apr 6, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Dramatic, Fantasy Re: untold hidden secrets

    Hi Zohali! Just here to critique :) if you'd like anything else critiqued just ask, and I'd appreciate it if you checked out/ critiqued my own novel in return (no ...

    Apr 5, 2012
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Maia (REVISED!!)

    Hello Xyra! First off, I'd like to say that I thoroughly enjoy your story line, and I think that if we tweak and revise it, it will go from being ...

    Apr 5, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Politics, General Re: We Are the Ninety-Nines (Working Title) - Chapter 1

    Very good story line. I enjoy the characters, I can tell there will be some character development in the future. Although I agree with Wicki on the imagery thing. If ...

    Apr 5, 2012
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Trouble, My Favorite (Chapter 1: Pain)

    So I liked this, however it needs a bit more editing, and I believe if you made a few changes you can change a good work into a superb one. ...

    Aug 3, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Flight

    Basically, I liked it. It has a lot of potential, but I didn't completely feel the emotion in the piece. You need to put yourself in the piece a little ...

    Oct 25, 2009
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Edward and Bella

    Wow, ummm, this is really weird. I mean, no offence, but if it didn't say Forks, Washington and the titale wasn't Edward and Bella, I wouldn't think that it was ...

    Sep 12, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Stranger Borne From Ego

    Hey again! First, it seems like the stanzas are not as organized as most poems, and should be a little less run-on. Again, break it up a little, but you ...

    Sep 11, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Tangible Mirages

    Hey Vernon! Very nice by thway, loved it! Okay, I think I noticed only a couple punctuation errors, firstly. Secondly, I'd break up the poem up into several paragraphs, just ...

    Sep 11, 2009


Remember, a stranger once told you that the breeze here is something worth writing poems about.
— Shinji Moon