stupidiot92

I love this poem. The rhyming was awesome and it still conveyed the message without using to large of word to make it rhyme. I also liked the 'emotion' of ...

I liked the shortness of it but detail wouldn't have been a bad thing here. I like the whole jist of the poem. It is a good way to convey ...

That was a good poem. It was a bit short but because it was short it was good. I think if you had extended it it would've been a completely ...

I finally got to the third part. I loved it. It was your best so far and i think your chapters after this are going to become progressivley better. Quote: ...

This is a little confusing to read. If you put a whole line in between paragraphs it would be a lor more pleasing to the eye. Also the stuff i ...

I have no idea where you got this idea, but it was really "weird". The part about them having hot steamy sex in the closet either i missed something(they are ...

The second part was AWESOME! Quote: Who was King Hedjlon? That question doesn't make sense to me because i think she would know who the king was unless he is ...

i am posting this cause my other stuff when they got commented their veiws soared!

i am posting this cause my other stuff when they got commented their veiws soared!

i am posting this cause my other stuff when they got commented their veiws soared!

i am posting this cause my other stuff when they got commented their veiws soared!

i am posting this cause my other stuff when they got commented their veiws soared!

i am posting this cause my other stuff when they got commented their veiws soared!

Hey guys, Thanks for the responses though i really wasn't go for rhyme. I will take everything you guys said and work on this poem. Stupidiot92

hey nick i don't think you should give this story up you can do alot with it even though it is based off of an historical figure