sokool15

Tee hee...hee hee hee...*subdued giggles* Have you ever read that story...argh, I forget what it's called, but it's kinda like this. It starts with a narrative about a unicorn who ...

I agree with Snoink. Er...hem...the little illustration about the strip tease, if slightly unorthodox, was effective. Pay attention to Snoink! Your writing style seems to flow smoothly and your gramma

And lo!, in their great haste, the door to the prison remained unlocked, so scared were they of the disease that now swam around in the cage. Er...hem...'lo'??? Dare I ...

I assume when talking about Michael's 'master' we're talking about God? Wouldn't it be cool to capitilize the 'He' whenever you talk about him? I mean, I understand if you ...

I'm going to start out with the nasty crits and then flatter you with the good stuff, all right? Just know that because you're such a good writer, I might ...

This was funny, but seemed a bit...er...silly, for my taste. Some of the parts where you sort of make an 'aside' to the reader: This was the proper way to ...

Mmm, I liked this! The whole thing with multi/multy/multi-storey/multy-story/etc etc etc...I think there are lots of different ways to do it, depending on where you come from. Anyway, overall it ...

Sweet chapter. I enjoyed usual. I'm still waiting patiently for the next, chapter, though. :P Anyway, I do agree with what Twinflower and Greenjay critiqued, but couldn't find much else! ...

I must admit, I really did like this. Although what the others say about spacing and stuff was admittedly true, I enjoyed reading the story and some of your descriptions ...

I like it. I won't point out your spacing, punctuation and grammar problems because you said it was just a character sketch. She sounds like she could be a very ...

I gave a humph sound. What I wanted more than anything in the world was to get in on the game before Janice got too drunk to deal. I examined ...

This was very good, Heather! I really enjoyed reading it...you have an interesting life. :) I really don't have any critiques, besides...er...deleting that little part in parenthesis. :wink: But you ...

Oh, this was lovely. I think you really portrayed what the wicked queen in Snow White must have felt like...age catching up to her, beauty disappearing. If all you live ...

Hee hee...I really, really enjoyed this. A wonderful job. I could almost hear it as you were writing. The dialogue was very good, natural, flowed smoothly and nicely. Your cues, ...

Crewgurl, I hope you meant 40,000 to 70,000 WORDS, not PAGES, right? *grins hopefully* otherwise I've never read a single full novel. Anyway, I agree with what above critiquers said. ...