smorgishborg

So based on some of your suggestions, I've re-written the words a little bit. I was also in the mood today, so I recorded me singing a bit of the ...

Thanks again for your comments, GF. I wanted to bump this again, because I got a ton of feedback on this in my class today, which echo'd a lot of ...

Smorg -- "You" shows up in a lot of my poems. And honestly, I don't know who "you" is. I could say it's some love interest or perhaps something to ...

Thanks for all the feedback. This got workshopped in my creative writing course, so in addition to all of your input, I have supplemental advice from all corners. It's funny ...

I wish you could find something better to talk about than love. Love found. Love lost. Love taken. Love given. Love forbidden. Love ignored. I am tired of "love" as ...

Pgs, Are you serious? The OP's last post was on "Tue Nov 14, 2006 6:25 pm", I'd critique for people who will actually see your comments and use them to ...

Thank you all for the kind comments. Lack of punctuation was careless of me, thanks for pointing it out. Now, I'd like to know what I ought to fix here. ...

Of course! You feel like soft cotton with an iron tip. Let's use this image as an example. Poems are about saying a lot with a little- really really good ...

Thanks for your nice comments, critiques, glowing appraisals... I've edited this a bit, with some of your suggestions, and a bit of my dissatisfaction with the fourth section. It's a ...

Thanks for the comments! *** KookieKatie: Really? I kinda see this as a conversation with oneself, not two people talking to each other. I chalk it up to paranoia. Incan: ...

I agree with AOD that the second part trumps the first. It's more lively, with a real strong sense of character. It's my understanding that CARLOS does kill himself at ...

On to part II - I'm keeping the paragraph format I. First sentence: I had never truly lost anyone close before. Second sentence: As if any man can control the ...

3. There's a bed of moss Soft as feathers Which lies Two ravines and Three Hills From an overgrown trail That meanders back To the Junction Where it meets the ...

Written during UShistory while thinking about John Muir... 2. I stare through the photographs I took, Into a snow dusted clearing Surrounded by trembling cedars And vaulted by ursa major ...

Absolutely, what both of you says makes perfect sense, and I thank you for rescuing this off the shelf. I'm resigned to it being a bit rushed because I've got ...