Prayer Flags at Nam-Tso Lake
A roll of prayer flags
is never alone,
as it reaches across a gorge
or winds between jutting rocks.
There are always other strings,
who offer up their red and white and blue and yellow and green
mantras to the wind,
in that order.
I am at peace when I hear
the clattering of a hillside of prayer flags,
letting their holy words be spread
by such a lowly thing as a passing breeze.
I close my eyes- I must be in Tibet,
or else back home in New York,
listening to the clapping
of taut lines of clean white shirts.
I would wrap myself in the sound.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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This poem has a great way of surrounding you with its imagery, the importance of which is somewhat unclear. While I can really only speculate on what meaning the author felt in the prayer flags and the sounds they made, beside maybe nostalgia, the clarity of the picture being presented is really nice.
Thank you all for the kind comments. Lack of punctuation was careless of me, thanks for pointing it out.
Now, I'd like to know what I ought to fix here. Was the transition between stanzas I/II to III-V managed well? Do the last two lines of the second stanza work? And if you don't know what prayer flags are, do you get a sense of them from this poem?
Does this poem bring up any specific emotions?
Thanks,
~ smorg
I loved this poem, especially because i thought the topic was unique, and i really enjoyed the language use. I also thought it flowed very well.
My favorite part was the last line, i thought it was a good way to end the poem.
Wow. This was a really cool poem - I liked it a lot.
Just one little thing - make sure you punctuate the end of each line to let your reader breathe! Remember a comma or full stop is a breath, not a line break - you can check by reading it aloud.
I liked the kind of twist at the end - and the little joke about wrapping yourself in shirts. It made me smile!
Keep writing!
Pgsgirl x
Wow this was quite excellent.
I liked that a lot. The last line really rounded out the elliptical rhythm there.
The last line of the poem was also most appropriate.
The whole thing reminds almost of some day dream, made real by a proximity of introspection.
Good stuff.
-Barrett