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Re: Drugs
I have to say this is very good. I disagree with Heart's idea that it should have a rhyme scheme. This seems like its meant to be a narrative poem. ...
Dec 19, 2011 -
Re: Broken
One major problem with this is that it doesn't have a consistent rhyme scheme. Maybe that's purposeful but it gets kind of annoying. At least to me. Labeling choruses, verses, ...
Dec 15, 2011 -
Re: Movie Star
I like the basic message of the poem which is don't change who you are to become more famous and stuff like that. I would advise trying to use more ...
Nov 25, 2011 -
Re: Removed
The premise to this story is very dry. So a girl randomly drowns (no explanation is given. why didn't the girl cry for help?) and lost with her life is ...
Nov 25, 2011 -
Re: Backwards Day
Such is life of all teenagers. The tone clearly shows the narrators ambivalence on her(?) true identity, something that every kid experiences. I'd like more imagery. When I write poetry ...
Nov 22, 2011 -
Re: Come to me at night
I like it. Perhaps because its similar to how I'm feeling? Not sure if that's a good thing D:. The repetition gets annoying sometimes but it's not unbearable. I feel ...
Nov 13, 2011
