seeminglymeaningless

I'm so glad I was brave enough to read something from the Romance section of YWS after my past traumatic experiences in this category. What a fantastic, smile-filled, light-hearted beginnings ...

lol hey again. So, I get the feeling that you're a bit "dissastisfied" and "disgusted" by life, huh? :) I'm glad that though this started off fairly scientific, you deviated ...

While it might be the case that you actually intend for the writing to be styled like that, I can't help but think you write all your work using Notepad ...

As a YWSer is wont to do, I read the comments before I read the piece. So here I go :) Comments in red, repetitions in green, overall opinion at ...

You should end on this: "They don’t know what civilization is, they are animals. I’ll kill every last one of them." Creates suspense :) Also, I didn't like the escape ...

This has to be one of the best stories I've read today :) Well done on keeping me hooked the whole way through. While I do agree that the beginning ...

Well, here's my critique. Comments in red, repitition in green. Also, because you've said you don't know where to place paragraphs, I've done that for you below. As a general ...

Hey. I generally comment as I read, so if some of my comments cancel each other out. . . well yeah. Comments in red, repetition in green. Onwards. The Heavy ...

Hey :) Comments in red. CHAPTER ONE I dreamt of floating in space for so long, I forgot I had a body and a name. I forgot I had an ...

. . . you didn't have enough time to fix it up, yet you had enough time to put it into an anthology and waste critiquers time with a piece ...

First, unecessary use of enters in the beginning, but no paragraph enters at all makes for a large unreadable block of text. I understand that Microsoft Word automatically spaces sentences ...

I like the promise of the story ahead, but I didn't like the fawning people in the Somnium. It almost seems as if, if these people did that duty every ...

Deserves the front page display :) I also found that Smitty reminded me of Arthur Dent from the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy (of 5 books), so the ...

I like the style, but I think they are being too cynical. Where are the adults/siblings? How far do they live away from each other than they can get to ...

I have to ask, I mean, you obviously can write, your writing style isn't bad, and you have the potential to be a good writer, but why? Why Twilight? Why ...