scribblingquill

this seems like a This Poem Is Me type poem? About the different aspects of yourself. Its a nice piece definitely, i have one myself about growing up that this ...

lullaby shore thats brilliant i think some of the rest seems slightly irrelevant. To make it more focused, you could continue with this idea of the lullaby shore as childhood, ...

hmm potential basic idea not bad, i like the "her name is Girlfriend" part- like Husband from Peter Pan no? you could say that was a comment on innocence and ...

the rhymes are too forced. its obvious you would not be talking about kittens if you didn't have to rhyme. Romantic? fantastic? I found it a bit shallow, and didn't ...

This is nice, simple. I think maybe the "this is me" is repeated too many times for how much is in between them. Perhaps you could put them at the ...

this is too short to be really original, and is a very used idea. anguish and heartbreak = been done to death. im breaking out the tough love on you, ...

i agree that the first few stanzas while they're definitely not bad at all (and you get some real bad stuff on here. really) the last stanza is far better ...

Obviously you've put a lot of thought into what your poem means, and i think the things you are trying to convey are very interesting, but i think the whole ...

I do agree it gets quite disorganized especially in the second half. i think the first half is good, but there are definitly too many questions all in one go. ...

:D i likey the star-lit city part is a great image, and i like the general concept, just one thing. I thought you could probably change the "continuing the Never-ending ...

i have no idea what i think of the style of this poem, and the language really. I didn't hate it, but i didn't love it, however the concept is ...

hey don't be annoyed about critiques on here. really no one means it in a bad way, even the most amazing poems people aren't afraid to say things they didn't ...

hmm I'm not sure what this is, and i guess its not really my usual thing, however i do like the whole child-hierarchy thing you got going on. And your ...

how come there are no comments?! I fucking love this. its so... "“My work is done here,” I said to myself. I’m good at my job." "I’m drunk right now. ...

some of the lines are pretty cool, but I'd say if you're new to poetry don't box yourself in with strict rhym schemes. Sometimes it seems like you're only saying ...