rawrafied

Hiya. I'm gonna got one line at a time, okay? I should warn, I haven't read anything prior so ignore anything that may have been explained in prior chapters. Okay, ...

Hello, again. Here's the second review. :3 ...but he dare not make much more of a sound. 'Dared' for tense agreement. ...not daring to touch his stomach for fear of ...

Hola! I'm gonna go sentence by sentence and pick out sentences that stick out to me, okie-doke? :3 Sitting around their small heard beneath the trees, Commas around 'beneath the ...

I'm gonna digest this line by line and pick out things that catch my eye, okay? :D "Love at first sight is for dummies", Comma should be inside the quotation ...

Holla. I'm here to enjoy your lovely story. :D I'm gonna go line by line and pick out things that catch my eyes. The rain slashed her pelt so hard ...

Here are some corrections/suggestions: A girl-no, a woman... Single hyphens are used to combine two words together to make a new one. Use a double hyphen to show interruption of ...

I liked how the daughters got annoyed with the Christian music and how the mother found comfort in the music and seeing the cross in the office. her daughters chirped ...

First off, love the title. Very eye-catching. Secondly, I love that this is in third person but reads just like a modern, first-person narrative. monotony of the white lines Love ...

Nice start to this story/chapter. Moving as a child is definitely something most people can relate to. I liked the direction and continuity of your second paragraph: moving from questioning ...

Here are some suggestions/corrections: It had been built during the Anarchic Era, a time many years ago when the kingdom had dissolved into chaos due to the premature death of ...

Oh, never heard of this tale by them before. Good thing I clicked on this. Shall have to check it out. :D Here are some suggestions/corrections: Hi. So I've got ...

Here are some corrections/suggestions: ...with her brother Philip. Comma after 'her brother'. Philip didn’t mind at all for Jane had made his days a little brighter. 'At all' seems unnecessary ...

Here are my suggestions/corrections: The next day, Jane found herself trying to forget about Marcus and how he was so close to kissing her---again! Mentioned the hyphen rule in a ...

First off, I'd like to say I like the title of this chapter. xD Here are some corrections/suggestions: Despite the uncomfortable amount of attention he was receiving from several women,... ...

Here are some are some suggestions/corrections Wallace sat hunched over on a boulder just outside the empty rebel base, his head in his hands. Although this is a good starting ...