-
Re: plz delete my account
Your descriptions are so rich and beautiful, it's like dessert. "Her lips of dahlia and sweet tainted" (2). Did you mean "Her lips of dahlia are sweet tainted"? Because currently ...
Sun Oct 25, 2020 11:36 pm -
Re: I could have helped
I love this so much. I'm glad that I've found a story with LGBTQ+ representation, and I'd love to read more to follow these characters' stories, because it is so ...
Sun Oct 25, 2020 11:27 pm -
Re: Murder By Starlight (Part 1)
Wow. I had no idea you were this good of a writer. Even though we only know Dave for just a bit, I was already attached to him as a ...
Fri Oct 23, 2020 1:39 am -
Re: The Insult Prophecy
I like how quickly this escalates. It goes from a diss track to a prophecy of death, which is great. "Your brain, your shoes Your eyes, what to choose? Everything ...
Tue Oct 20, 2020 10:08 pm -
Re: Lacrimosa
Hi piyaliarchives, my name is Sarah! I’d like to read and review Lacrimosa today! I am by no means a professional, so take what you find helpful and ignore the ...
Tue Oct 20, 2020 6:49 pm -
Re: public delights
Wow. These were so beautiful to read, and the emotion is so real and raw in each and every one of them. It really captures images of reality, but also ...
Tue Oct 20, 2020 12:10 am -
Re: Schools
I love the use of dictionary pronunciations, it really adds to the poem's topic of school. I have an idea that you can follow for the repeating of schools are ...
Tue Oct 20, 2020 12:03 am -
Re: The first page of my novel - would love to hear what you think
“I can’t believe the idiots who take the main road out of Beirut at one hundred miles per hour, Heinrich had said. He took the same road at one hundred ...
Mon Oct 19, 2020 11:55 pm -
Re: Tide Goes Out (Chapter One)
Hi Maryah! Feel free to ignore this if you don’t find it helpful. I am by no means a professional. “Another tear streaked down her cheek.” The word streaked sounds ...
Mon Oct 19, 2020 6:17 pm -
Re: Live Like Legends
Hi Euphoria8! Just so you know, I am by no means a professional whatsoever, so for this review, take what you find helpful and ignore the rest. "I want melancholy ...
Mon Oct 19, 2020 4:14 pm -
Re: Ocean Breaths
I love this piece. It is so raw and true, I can feel your emotions through it.This writing captures the complexity and eternity of the ocean and the comfort and ...
Mon Oct 19, 2020 12:59 am -
Re: The Chosen: Ch. 1.1
“The care-worn face Adashi knew so well was thoughtful.” I feel like this quote could have a better flow. Instead of telling the readers that Adashi knows his face well, ...
Sun Oct 18, 2020 6:19 pm -
Re: Chapter 1: Sebastian
The relationship established between Dominic and Sebastian in this chapter is a great way to start out. It creates an immediate attachment between the readers and the characters with their ...
Sun Oct 18, 2020 5:36 pm
