pla303

The bed shook vigorously as I collapsed onto it, then gradually stopped. I dunno about this line. The first impression you get is of a bed shaking vigorously. This is ...

Wow, that was brilliant. A few nit-picky things: This may just because I go to an inner-city school, where a lot of people smoke marijuana, but saying "....and smoke marijauna ...

Just a few semantics things: and that they should loose weight? Should be: and that they should lose weight? that your not exactly perfect Should be: that you're not exactly ...

Hiya! Welcome to YWS. You should probably read through the rules and formatting things before posting your stories. Generally we try and make people review at least a couple works ...

Just a few grammar/spelling MICHAELWe done with the waterworks yet? Jesus Christ, you think we'd be in the middle of a soup opera. Soap opera, not soup opera MICHAELDon't you ...

Yes, on all three. You have great descriptions and your prose really flows. The one suggestion I would make is that you beef up your descriptions. You've got some pretty ...

Wow. I wish I had dreams like this ;). I would really just change some of your diction around a little bit. I love some of your lines, but sometimes ...

My science teacher asked me to wirte this essay, because I like to read/write/learn stuff about science! So, I'm looking for general feeback, and overall impressions! How will Gaia cope ...

Once Matt left, we sat in silence for a little. Then Caitlin reached [s]out her hand,[/s] and the piece of paper on the table flew into her hand. It was ...

Hiya! I'm Jack, and this is my first review, so sorry if I come off a bit harsh and/or weird. Perhaps a few years from now, I shall see you, ...