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Re: Legacy chapter one
Hi, Artemis! I miss you, and your lovely stories! Have you written anymore of The Goddess's Song? (I think that's what it's called.) Anyways! I'm here to review this piece, ...
Feb 26, 2017 -
Re: Plasmanian Devil Chapter 1: Gin Spirit
Hey, Pendr here! First of all, this is a very unique story and I'm curious to see where it'll go! I'd personally say the best thing about this is your ...
Dec 18, 2016 -
Re: Chapter One: Cove
Hi there! I'm so glad to be here reviewing this! I really enjoyed this little introduction. It hooked me, made me want more. I really like how you implement the ...
Nov 18, 2016 -
Re: The Dive- Chapter 2
Hi, I'm back, after like three months. Heh... my bad. Anyways! I would like to reiterate what Morrigan wrote in their review. There is a large lack of emotion. As ...
Aug 21, 2016 -
Re: Earthquake Chapter 2 Revised and Shortened
Hi again! I'm back for chapter two. I was just as hooked on this chapter as the last! There's a few general punctuation/grammar mistakes I saw consistently throughout. I don't ...
May 30, 2016 -
Re: Earthquake Chapter 1 rewritten and re-approached.
Hey! I'm Pendr! Let me just say, wow! I love this already!! I love how soon and how detailed you've introduced us to the characters! I also really like that ...
May 29, 2016 -
Re: The Dive- Chapter 1
Hi there! I'm Pendr! I'm so happy to have stumbled across this delightful story! I personally love all things fantasy, especially mermaids! I really like where this story is going ...
May 29, 2016 -
Re: Stoneslide - Chapter 10
Hello, there! I'm Pendr of Stitch! Just a couple warnings, I haven't read any previous chapters, and I do lots of grammatical nitpicks. Let's do this! "The dawn rays filtered ...
Apr 26, 2015 -
Re: The morning mist
I'm Pendr! I have just a few quick but extremely important tips to improve this a ton. A poem needs stanzas and separation in lines. This is literally one paragraph ...
Apr 8, 2015 -
Re: Never Can You Fix Me
Hello! One quick thing I'd like to say is that I personally appreciate that you capitalize every line and use punctuation. Yet, at the end, you stop using periods all ...
Apr 6, 2015 -
Re: mint and bad breath
Hi! I'm Pendr, and hopefully I can be of some help. In the first stanza, I think you should end the second sentence after "freckled, quivering cheeks." That will help ...
Apr 6, 2015 -
Re: Syrin: Essential Fire - Chapter 9.2
Hello there! I'm Pendr! Two warnings: I have not read any other parts of this story, and so my review will mostly be grammatical corrections. I apologize in advance for ...
Apr 5, 2015 -
Re: Savior of the World
Hi! I'm Pendr, and I'm really excited to read and review this! Let's get started, shall we? (By the way, welcome to YWS! You'll love it here!) "Sound of insects ...
Mar 31, 2015 -
Re: Concurred Kingdom
Hey there! Pendr here, excited to review!! XD Alright. I just have a couple tips for revision. BUT FIRST! I wanna say that this poem is awesome and creative. I'm ...
Mar 31, 2015 -
Re: Second Always Comes Last: Apostate
Hello! I'm Pendr, and I'm going to do a nitpicky review of this chapter. I haven't read the previous chapters, so forgive me for being clueless. Here we go! Holy ...
Mar 29, 2015
