peanut19

This was very interesting, Helpful. It was extremely creative and it made my afternoon(now I want pancakes). You used good descriptions and images to help me see these amazing pancakes. ...

This is a love poem. So I don't really know how to help you there, like June said try to stay away from cliche descriptions and images. But I did ...

Hi tennis. A lot has already been said about your poem but I will say somethings also. I noticed that at the end you say "the game is over/checkmate." I ...

I agree with the things about the syllable count that other people have said. I think it would help the poem flow better but it is beautiful already. You had ...

Hi Melvin :) I honestly can't find anything wrong with this piece. I loved the consistency of your rhyme scheme. And the imagery was lovely and very original. Although I ...

Hi Kelcia, I'm Peanut :). I noticed that the first sentence of this poem isn't punctuated but the next sentences are. You should put end marks at the ends of ...

Hi Ruby! I have to say I agree with Dreamer some of it was a little hard to read. But I think that's just because I'm not used to it. ...

Hi Fallen, welcome to YWS :) I'm going to review this line by line since it's so short. Keep in mind that I don't normally critique poetry so if I ...

Hi Mo :) Here I am. It seems like people have already picked up on the grammatical errors in this piece so I'm going to focus on the characters. I ...

Hi Cheez_burger :) Welcome to YWS. I noticed one thing in the is piece you didn't capitalize your I 's. Any time an I is by itself it has to ...

Stella! I'm a very bad girl please torture me with more messed up princesses. Now for the actual review. I don't really have any nitpicks, no misspelled words you found ...

Hi Imagination :) Welcome to YWS I'm peanut. "Max, telephone!". That period is not needed if you are using the exclamation point. "Hello.". No one replied. Again the extra period ...

Hi Kat :) I'm glad you finally posted this. I'm going to try not to shatter it as you said. It hurt, too much. You don't need the comma after ...

I'm going to try really hard to find something wrong with this piece. I was December, 1964, in Surrey, England. The I should be It. That's all I found wrong ...

I thought this was very interesting. I don't normally read sci-fi but you had me hooked after I read the first couple of sentences. I did see some grammar mistakes ...