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onthesurface93

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The Particle

    Hey :) First off, this is really cute. I love how it is symbolic of friendship, I could see you had a personal connection with the poem, so that was ...

    Nov 17, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Okrol - extract chapter 1

    Hey, just here to review :) So...I think it's a great start, has lots of potential, but I did notice a few things here and there I'll just nit-pick out ...

    Nov 17, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re:

    Hey! First off, I found this really intriguing from the start, got me gripped straight away! I particularly love the name you have given to the main character, Sre. Very ...

    Oct 11, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I Miss You

    First off--- Whoa.... Second--- LOVED IT! I thought at the end she may have turned out stronger, repaired herself a little, but instead she met the same bitter end. Which ...

    Oct 11, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Answer me.

    Hey! Just thought I'd have a look whilst I have the time! I agree with SlyNightOwl, about the image of the girl in school. But I didn't get the impression ...

    Oct 11, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: My Coven - Prologue

    Hey! First off, I loved it. I thought it gave a really good, strong start to the novel. Maybe you could have held off on a few of the smaller ...

    Oct 10, 2011


He looks like a turtle who's been through the Vietnam war.
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi