napalmerski

Yo, a review from me. I don't do plot, or grammar, but only sentence structure, internal consistency, and basic narrative rhythm. This was actually quite enjoyable to read, and only ...

That was great! I like the tone of the kid's internal monologes, and the basic premise. Have you read 'the new accelerator' by H.G. Wells? Here it is, if you ...

Yo, this is a nice, empty beginning, as others have written as well. I for one don't mind empty beginning, or for that matter empty books - as long as ...

Yo, here are my bronze coins, he replied, then bowed stiffly and stalked out of the room - 'stalked' is not really the most adequate word to be used here. ...

Yo, fritzalfonts just to say that I don't do grammar and plot, only sentence structure and internal consistency reviews. Here are my notes on your piece: Dawn was just breaking ...

There was also this part: Snapping back to reality, I grabbed my black, school bag, and fell flat on my face when I finished rushing down the stairs. The falling ...

Ahem, the old Bonds are a textbook of how to write descriptions. The man's a rough poet Chandler style. Who else would start a book with a chapter dedicated to ...

Yo Krupp, this is intense! Well chosen words bombard the reader. At times though, the author, ahem, allowed himself to rest after chosing the words and atmosphere and not bother ...

Hey! There's lots to do with spelling and sentence strucure here, but it will grow on you as you write more and more. Just to say that I love your ...

Yo, thank you for the story. Here is my half-farthing, haha In the 1700's doors to nowhere weren't supposed to exist . - A first half of a potentialy good ...

Hallo, that's some tight prose, and an OK mix of 1930's pulp influenced dialogues, internal and external, and a rapier and necromancy setting. The turn of events caught me completely ...

Yo, nice story. Or rather, first part of story:) It was obviously written in one breath, as the milions of mechanical mistakes show hehe. A spontaneous outburst of action fiction. ...

Hallo! That was very nice. Snappy, good rhythm, nice pulp style in a fantasy setting. Substituting the private eye with the mercenery but keeping the atmosphere - you are getting ...

Yo! An excellent little piece! Nothing really wrong with it, here are my suggestions for a few minor tweaks An owl hoots suddenly, startling me out of my reverie - ...

Yo, well, I reviewed this text, then clicked the link at the bottom, and it turned out, that the books is already written, finished and published,and this here is something ...