musingsmutterings

A very powerful and personal poem; I greatly enjoyed it. I think you did an excellent job, for the most part, of showing instead of telling, of dropping just enough ...

This is an excellent story that could, with a little tweaking, become an absolute masterpiece. Your narrator has an easygoing, candid feel to him that reminds me of Holden Caulfield. ...

I think this really has the support to be something really phenomenal, but I think you could develop it a lot. The opening paragraph is phenomenal - a deeply unsettling ...

This is a very nice little piece - short and sweet. Some of your sentences have a real sense of majesty about them, well done, and the general storyline is ...

I think you've got the bones to something really spectacular here. The ending is spectacular, the last two sentences so blunt and taut... but the rest seems rushed and stilted. ...