miyaviloves

There's a ton of stuff in here that needs work, for one, a lot of the thing's you have the characters say I'm not sure they really would say...and i ...

Hello, I'm criting this AS i read it, so if any things sound stupid at the beginning it might be because I didn't understand it till the end :\ but ...

Hmm, i realllly liked the beginning of this, It seemed fresh and original, but as it went on i felt like i was hearing it all before. I think the ...

hmm, I agree with Snoink that it is a little creepy, and i also thought that the narrator was an older man, but I oculd be wrong, it could be ...

This was great JC!!! Magicman pointed out everything I could really see here, and I really like your descriptions. I always worry when I write Vampire stories that they will ...

Hmm yeah maybe should be in poetry but I'm not sure really :S I'm not really sure about this piece it's a bit bland, and very cliche... well I have ...

Yay part five :D Writers block is SUCH a pain! The clock claimed it was nine am but he knew it was really eight. Maybe you should explain this, is ...

It was sweet, is there anymore of this? I'm not realllly sure what it's about in all honesty. I think you could describe why she has these bubbles, why are ...

Hmm the idea here is very sweet, but I think you need to add a lot more emotion into this and get the flow sorted out, I think you mainly ...

Hihi! Here I go to review :D . But I thought we could have a little bet." Here you are missing some speech marks But if you can't, you're going ...

Hmm...I'm really not sure about this in all honesty, there are tons of mistakes and well, I'm not sure if you were doing it on purpose, like, she was simple ...

Heyo! I read this lasy night but didn't have enough time to post a review so here it is. First off 6 weeks?! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Why?! And second I enjoyed it ...

JC!!!! Your writing just gets better and better! She had already lost all the respect she'd never had. Was never supposed to be ever here? It's just that the sentence ...

I cannot see the meaning in this either. To be honest with you I didn't like it, I felt it was just there and I think you concerntrated more on ...

I had to do this for GCSE!! Ok, i think Kitty sorted out the begining there, but I think that you could show that maybe Lennie did sucseed in his ...