miyaviloves

Well, I didn't really understand it but I liked it in a strange way. Fair enough it dosen't have a plot and the characters are almost non-existant, but I like ...

Hmm in all honesty I didn't enjoy this much. The characters were very cliche - but I can tell that you are deliberatly putting the typical 'jocks and cheerleaders' across. ...

Hmm...Ok...here's what i'm going to point out: oswitch from present tense to past tense a LOT - I do it a lot too, you don't realise you're doing it. BUt ...

OK, sop Kittykat pointed out a lot of mistakes but I'm also going to go over them :D It's obvious that you have a talent for writing here - but ...

Alainna I have been waiting sooooooooooooo long for this! I swear you do keep us all in suspense on purpose :p !!! Anywho, I liked this, I think it's great ...

this certainly is unique - but i know you have an R rating but you might want to put somewhere before people read it about the graphic images (it might ...

Ok, you have a good start here, although if he is now going to start telling a story, the whole scene with a therapist is a tenny bit cliche...unless in ...

hello there :) I thin kthat most of the mistakes I found have been pointed out here already (one less job for me to do) :) Anyway, I really liked ...

I agree with Gadi that it is rather bland. Personally i didn't connect with it at all...but poems are like that really, you either do or you dont :\ Still, ...

hmm...well I didn't get it but I'm not sure there is really all that much to get is there? I agree with Trident that it is a lot to do ...

Wow, I really really enjoyed reading this! I couldn't spot any mistakes but I wasn't really looking out for them too much I was so engrossed in the story! It's ...

Hello, this was a good piece overall but here are my suggestions: The two colossal spires showed above the canopy of trees. They were the symbol and the landmark for ...

hey hey, first off you could break this up a bit, at the moment it is just one big block, seperate the speech, you might get more reviews that way ...

I agree about the part where she leaves, I think there could have been a more understanding reason, or maybe you could have told us what that reason was for ...

Why have you posted this twice? You really don't need to.... Anyway, I think that Dele24 pointed out most of the mistakes, but here is what i think i should ...