mikepyro

I really enjoyed the way you describe the city, the world, the landscape. I had a few points that threw me off, firstly is davora a hooker as well? If ...

Welll, the emotion of the work does ring true at many points, and though it comes naturally for the piece you manage a good deal of that emotion through your ...

Well I agree that the piece is rather short and we're never given enough time to truly get to know the character but I think from what we are given ...

not a prude when it comes to language (some of my pieces use a fair f word) but to me the cursing felt totally out of place with this work. ...

For your age, this is a decent piecce. You spend far too much time focused on telling rather than showing "he did this, he looked like this". Simply telling us ...

This is a pretty nice piece, personal, but not overly so, and emotional without being over the top or familiar. You made it your own, really. I do find that ...

While the piece takes a moment to pull the reader in there's a depth hidden beneath the lines that really kept me reading. The sudden burst of motion and life ...

Quite nice. I didn't find as many grammar issues as I expected, most have been pointed out. I think you need to fix your punctuation. You use alot of unnessesary ...

This is quite solid as a piece of poetry. So often rhymes trip the reader up and feel forced but here I feel they flow quite well together. The style ...

not sure what ranger's talking about, I found a ton of python like touches. randomness and subtly odd flow well together here, I really enjoyed the further descriptions to another ...

honsetly I find that it's so hard to find good poetry here, good poetry that flows and can use a rhyme scheme that doesn't make me want to punch my ...

gotta agree the spelling, grammar, structure all fall short here. I've heard this piece 100 times before and it gets worse each time you read it. there's no real depth ...

much of the editing necessities have been covered but I must note that when you employ He Said She Said at the end of a dialogue line the line should ...

It's a solid piece told in a unique style. I admit some points don't flow as well such as the Reign of terror. They read half life prose and half ...

The second set of stanzas is where the stanza really shines. There's an anger and sorrow mixed that avoids cliche and melancholy quite well. As a lyrical piece I can ...