mellophone7

Pretty good job. A few things: my senses become alive Maybe putting "come alive" would make it flow better. Also, the fact that the first stanza had four lines, the ...

Awwww, total cuteness!! This poem is SO adorable. It's simple, but that's what makes it sweet. I was thinking of an adorable little Lab puppy when I was reading it, ...

I didn't notice this before, but when I read it again, I found only one punctuation error. The assassin sprints for the door To fle into the night- flee But ...

I like this. It's short, sweet, and beautiful. The only thing I have to say is, you should change "bye" (in both title and poem) to "goodbye". Bye makes the ...

I liked this. You did a pretty good job of telling how much this person loved somebody else. One thing, I noticed in the last line: All so that you ...

Hmmm. This is pretty cool. He'd never learned about friction; the imperfect pendulum of his loping gait swung on and on and on. He was ten, and when he stood ...

I kind of liked this. It's some thing a lot of people can relate to (unfortunately. I wish people didn't have to deal with things like watching a friend disappear, ...

Wow. This was extremely well done. I was able to dive into the story headfirst, and, I believe this was mentioned before, too, I didn't need any context. There was ...

This is an EXTREMELY good horror story. I was so scared when I finished reading it! I noticed a few grammatical errors, punctuation misplaced, etc. but the only big suggestion ...

Whoa. I was not expecting that ending. You had the beginning be completely and total bliss and joy, and then the ending was all sadness.... A few nitpicks. I could ...

:) I love these! They totally describe how I feel sometimes, and they made me laugh! Please? I'm begging. Will you accept bribes? Because I have chocolate. This is my ...

Awesome. :) I love this! Just one nitpicky thing. On the "Six year since our founding" part, there's supposed to be an "s" after year. Other than that, it's all ...

This is a very good start for your first poem. Your writing style is pretty amazing, but with this poem, you didn't quite seem to get to the point until ...

I like this. I just noticed that the third stanza only had 3 lines versus 4, and that just seemed to stick out a lot to me. It didn't seem ...

I actually love reading poems that are all about "I hate this, but I'm going to write about it anyway." :) So, first, thumbs up to that. I think that ...