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Re: The Lingering Lament
Hey, I really liked this and you have obvious talent for imagery. One thing I would change: Rippling blues and silvers, like shimmering pearl ribbons I'd take out 'like' just ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: Gypsy
I really like this, it's a great start because it makes you want to read on. Two teeny nitpicks: The horse moved slowly up the gentle incline, pulling the carvan ...
Jun 18, 2011 -
Re: La Luna y el DelfĂn (The Moon and the Dolphin)
Hi, I know this poem was posted quite a while ago but I stumbled across it and just HAD to comment! I ADORE this poem it's the cutest thing ever ...
Jun 17, 2011 -
Re: Beauty Pageant Conflicts (Overdress and Express)
This was a fascinating read and I totally agree with you. The only thing I would suggest is changing the word 'bothered' right at the end to something a bit ...
Jun 17, 2011 -
Re: Leper
First of all I have to say this is amazing! I love your poetic writing style and the way you can almost hear the narrator speaking to you. I have ...
Jun 17, 2011 -
Re: If only...
Hi, I really liked this poem it's so sweet! Only two tiny nitpicks: *tongue. And in the last stanza where it says If there was a way you could.. If ...
Jun 17, 2011 -
Re: One day
Hi Pixie, I love your poem and the dreamlike quality it's got. I have a few suggestions, not problems just things that (in my opinion) could be improved. If one ...
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: Maggie: A Love Story (Prolouge)
Hey, here I am as requested! First things first, I thought this was really mysterious and intriguing - I want to read more! And I think you have a brilliant ...
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: Musings #1
This is a beautiful poem. At first it seems sad but ends on quite a positive note, and I especially love your imagery and comparisons. I haven't got any issues ...
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: Ghost
I really liked this poem and could relate to it. I actually respectfully disagree with the above comment and think you should keep 'as', but I agree the last stanza ...
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: Matts Different Life
I agree with TheGillianGill's comments, and I like the idea and the point you're making with this. I think a diary format would make this text a bit more interesting ...
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: A beauty in a Beast
I love this poem and the message, but there's a bit of room for improvement: His features undefined, ~I think the rhythm would flow better if you took out 'so' ...
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: The Sky
I really loved this, especially the ending. It makes you completely change your previous opinion about him. I found it really interesting and would like to see a bit more ...
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: farewell
I really like the idea of this poem and the emotion, and your imagery is stunning. I do have a few suggestions, but of course it's totally up to you, ...
Jun 16, 2011 -
Re: Perfection
I really like this, it's sweet and sad at the same time and I like how it gives the reader a message about revenge without being all preachy. There are ...
Jun 15, 2011
