Published June 23, 2011
Glittering like a sapphire in the lap of rolling green,
A glass projection of the moonlight sky, a silver sheen,
Rippling blues and platinums; shimmering pearl ribbons,
Gleaming like sharp, pointed, deadly, fierce hibbens,
Although a form of gorgeous, uncontrollable beauty,
A manifestation of maleficent, inevitable duty,
To erode, destroy and create new life in one,
Foul swoop of a deadly tongue of silver fun,
The ocean, one of the most powerful elements,
Full of a soulful canopy of powerful laments.
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Canary word: Present
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139,320 Literary Works • 672,529 Reviews
Thanks for the reviews Guys!
Love you all. xD
Here to review, as promised! You used good imagery in this poem. Okay, here I go- my comments will be blue.
So all in all, I feel like this was more about the imagery than the message, because I think many readers wouldn't understand some of it. It wasn't bad, though, most of your word choices were great and you used good words for your rhymes, without making them feel forced. So, while this might not be perfect for everyone, it was good work. Never stop writing!
Hello there =] This was really lovely. The only thing I would change is the formatting. The lines are a bit too long, so maybe shorten them up a bit.
Hey, I really liked this and you have obvious talent for imagery. One thing I would change:
I'd take out 'like' just to make it fit better with the rhythm.
Great job!
Keep writing,
Megan
Awesome! Wow, this is going to be among the top winners I can already tell!