Published June 16, 2011
At times I wonder what I'll be like when I'm old
and my hair is pale as the distant moon
and as thin as the air you breathe on mountains.
I wonder if I'll have had grandchildren by then
so that they can bring some life back into mine,
and so I can spoil them rotten as apples.
I wonder if I'll share my decline with someone,
or if I'll be left alone with no one but myself
to grow old and live with until our deaths.
But if so, why should I wait for that fate?
I'll race forward from lonely silences and creaky bones
and into the welcoming arms of death.
Because when arthritis sets in, I'll set out
on adventures and quests that make magic seem dull
and my past fade like it never existed before.
I'll battle dragons with scales of indigo blue,
then take to the seas and fight pirates and sea monsters
and sail on to the end of the world and back!
At the end of the day, when I've no heart left
and my coffers are full and a smile on my face,
it is then I shall die, as someone who has lived.
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,565 Reviews
This poem was amazing.There is no words I find fit to describe of what I thought of this poem.You did vary well and i'll be following your work in the future.Oh,and nice job!
This is a beautiful poem. At first it seems sad but ends on quite a positive note, and I especially love your imagery and comparisons. I haven't got any issues as such, just my opinions on improvement. Of course it's completely up to you though.
I'm usually not a fan of non-rhymers, but you may have converted me! I look forward to reading more musings!
-Megan
Muffin,
This was...really deep. I rarely ever read anything on YWS that's so thought out on this sort of morbid, if you will, level. I like how you structured each stanza as its own separate thought and ended most of your stanzas with comparisons.
One little nit-pick I have for you is that:
I feel like this line would sound so much better if it was written, "and as thin as the air you breathe in the mountains." It's your call, and it's not that big a deal. Overall, I really like the poem, and I actually loved your ending, its was a good way to close off. Keep writing!
-Alex