mariahneu

There, what do you think of the re-write?

Shoot, I didn't realize that it was a repeat. :S Thanks for telling me; I just changed it. I'm going to try to add some more details to it right ...

Thank You all for your comments and critiques, they are much appreciated. :) I think I'm going to stick to writing poems about nature... I just changed the the line, ...

There, I just edited it again. Basically, I changed the whole idea behind the body and the spirit, but I kept most of the mind contents. What do you think?

Thank you both for their critiques. I just edited the poem above, so please reply with what you think of the revised version.

Thank you all; your comments are much appreciated. :) In reply to shadowstorm, I like the 1st rewrite more than the 2nd rewrite, because I got it critiqued on another ...

Yet another rewrite of the poem... Clandestine aromas escape from the bottle, The scents of the world depart with one spray. Evidence of passion consumes the air, Exotic scents are ...

Here's a re-write: Clandestine aromas escape from the bottle, The world's aromas evade with one spray. Evidence of passion consume the air, Exotic scents, whisked away by the breeze. Its ...

I would be glad to critique/comment anyone's poetry if they critique/comment on mine... :)

This poem was pretty good, but I'd fix the structure of it all by adding some stanzas and punctuation, .etc.