malachitear

Hey there! The plot is simple, something that many people have tried, and inspite of that, you made it sound great! Good Job :D There are a few grammar and ...

I like this! I really feel the emotion in this and I guess I am able to relate to it too, at least to a certain level. from the second ...

I also commend your use of the Second-person POV. Its rather a lot more appropriate than the usual first person pov throughout that you usually see. This wasn't horror though. ...

This gave me chills. Hello! I'll start off with the things you should think about. Just suggestions! - Maybe you should change your title? So that his name only appears ...

Hello (: Firstly, welcome to YWS! I'm sure you'll have a great time here. Hope to see you around often! This is really well written and I really liked it! ...

Well, it does come on rather strongly. Hello (: I think that this piece is rather unpolished, but has quite a lot of potential to become really good, because I ...

I really like this! It's a beautiful piece with a subtle touching message. It's not too strong, and has a sort of gentle, emotional feel. The description of the sky ...

Hey there(: Woah. You really drew me in there. I loved the way you began the piece, and how it flowed. It was a little complicated, but you were able ...

Hey there. This is a little creepy. I'm not saying I don't like it, but I felt you were a little overbearing in your use of the word 'angel' when ...

Wow. *sniff* Really felt this one. The start immediately caught my attention, "It didn't hurt". Brisk and to the point, with a nice effect. The innocence and pure-heartedness of a ...

I haven't seen you around either. Hello :D Okay, firstly, the theme is a nice one, but I think it could use a little more impact. Not in the words,but ...

Wow. Really loved this piece. It flowed so well! The starting was really interesting, the way you made the reader follow the protagonist's thought processes and the way he ticked ...