Published October 12, 2011
My smile is not real anymore.
I only smile when I am forced too,
This has changed because you've broken my smile.
This smile has been cracked and bruised, all because of you.
If I smile i can feel my heart break even more than it already has.
If this broken smile cant be fixed you now know why.
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140,581 Literary Works • 673,530 Reviews
I haven't seen you around either. Hello
Okay, firstly, the theme is a nice one, but I think it could use a little more impact. Not in the words,but in the arranging of the stanzas.
Also, a few nitpicks. Nothing major.
Overall,I really liked this! It relates to both your personal life and the world which we have to hide our feelings in.
I thought the poem was nice and flowed smoothly. And I agree with dasiamari, the font might put people off, it's too flashy. The black font rule is a lax one, but it really would look better in black.
-Keep Writing!
Okay I've never met you so HAI!!
My smile is not real anymore.
I only smile when I am forced too,
This has changed because you've broken my smile.
This smile has been cracked and bruised, all because of you.
If I smile i Capital Ican feel my heart break even more than it already has.
If this broken smile cant Can'tbe fixed you now know why.
I don't think you need IF there
Okay so over all You should put this in regular font size and colour because as soon as I saw it I was like "I don't wanna read it!" But I did and I kind of liked it
~Mari