makar7

Very intriquing chapter. Your writing drew me into the story quite effectively. Good job. Your narration was excellent and I found the words you chose at times very fitting. The ...

Wow, this was fantastic! I really liked how you used lines of poetry to tell parts of the story, it really helped the story flow smoothly. You used figurative language ...

Wow! This is really good. Its short, yet sweet. The whole poem flowed really well, the rhyming carried the whole thing along. The "First" in the fourth line sounds a ...

Woah! Of course you put another storyline right after a cliffhanger. But that's good. It leaves the reader on edge and makes them thirst to read on to find out ...

This piece of prose has very good potential, but right now , it is way too bogged down with errors to be read comfortably. Here they are: I bet she ...

Wow, you've really written a beautifully composed essay. The organizations is wonderful, one thought leads onto another. To me, it seems like you wrote this in stream of consciousness, which ...

Hmm... this is very short and to the point, I like it. It is pretty well written, though the use of awesome twice annoyed me a bit, you might want ...

Wow, very creepy and very good. There are a lot of things I like about this work: -I really like the use of present tense, it works for the thriller ...

The heart is like a puzzle, Always scattered about . A space would be good here to break up the words and make each of these thoughts a separate stanza ...

OK, so this is a good base for a greater poem. The tone and emotion is good, but you're missing something... Organization. Right now, its a big mush that sounds ...

Wow! This is really good. I could sense the truth in these words, something that makes a poem great to read. I liked the metaphors and symbolism you used, especially ...