lyrical_sunshine

She pressed her hands against the tattered bark of the tree gently. ( If I were you I'd move gently - like "She gently pressed her hands...") Closing her eyes ...

Yeah, well, Atretes is cool too...but I don't know. Twilight beats Mark of the Lion???? What is wrong with this world??? Do you pick up Twilight when you feel alone ...

Just finished it last night! I loved the movie before I loved the book, but I hate going through life after watching an adaptation but never reading the original. So ...

One: Pell oddi cartref The bird was twittering outside again. Always the same: bid -a-boo, bid -a-boo, bid -a-boo. It monopolized my whole attention, even though it had sung exactly ...

Very good! I'm excited to read more. The bits of language were great - not too extensive, but just enough to give us a picture of this world you created. ...

In my heart of hearts I nurse a faint hope... That Eragon is purposefully an arrogant, foolish protagonist That Murtagh is *meant* to be so much cooler than Eragon That ...

It's a good storyline, watch your punctuation though. You've got a lot of run-ons and stuff. Also, I think that second to last sentence is a quote right? So don't ...

i really liked only problem is that the "article" didn't really sound like an article. I work at a newspaper, and I don't think any editor would allow a writer ...

this is excellent, and i am surprised you're so young. watch out for extra-long sentences, though; they tend to be run-ons. and i think you had a couple mistakes... like ...

UGH. if he did i've lost about a million pounds of respect for him. I have a theory that he wants to keep writing the MR series because he's making ...

oooh. spell check. SPELL CHECK, please. sorry, i realize you're younger than most on here and so you obviously haven't graduated to the grade where teachers fail you for bad ...

hey buddy. since i already edited your story in class today I won't do it again, lol, just want to say again how much i love your description! and look! ...

12/17/07 021 – Friends They thought that we were stupid, and we played along. They thought that I was dumbly following the Mass, not really understanding (need a comma here) ...

*drools all over Gryphon's beautiful stories* Oh WOW! I'm so glad I discovered these! I just read all twelve in like twenty minutes. I'm sorry I didn't critique any of ...

Hey! I really enjoyed this! You put kind of a new twist on the old werewolf idea. I put my corrections in bold. :D ~Sunny (First attempt at Fantasy. Gulps!) ...