lilgreendots

I looked as the two demigods knelt in front of me. "So you what to use my Chariot?" I asked my daughter and her friend .

Starting to read this it was good, until you introduced all these characters I got confused who was who and what they were even talking about. Try adding a background ...

“What are you doing?” said the young lady on the street. She slapped Him across the face. Another loss for Him. He was always told that he wasn’t good enough. ...

Chapter One Florence sat on the park bench watching her drunken friends make fools out of themselves. It’s not like anyone else saw them- due to the fact that it ...

Wow, this was really good. I liked how your poem seemed to have a purpose and it's not just a bunch of words that rhyme. The only thing that I ...

Hello There, There wasn't really that much to review because of the length, but here I go: I didn't catch anything wrong with the grammar, and pretty much the only ...

I am still the mistress of paraphrasing, and this fact will not change. This spoiler shall contain a one to two-sentence summary of each chapter so far Chapter 1-We are ...

Grammar will be in green. My comments are in bold. Since I am the mistress of paraphrasing, this spoiler shall contain a one to two-sentence summary of each chapter Chapter ...

There's not really much I can say about this poem. It's pretty good considering the rules that you have to follow when writing a haiku. It's ok that you didn't ...

Wow this was really good. Everyone else already talked about changing the point of view, so I won't bother going over that again. Allen really seemed like a real character ...

I really liked this poem. The only thing that I didn't get was when you said Disappointment wells up a single tear falls with a small splash into the silver ...

Who am I ? And who are you? Do you know me ? Do I know you? I'm so new to living so this must do Oh and will I ...

Hey, So I really loved the poem, but I agree that the last stanza could use some work One day life bloomed in my eyes, Existence replaced the dull cold, ...

I'll have to agree with qt11596. When I read the first two stanzas I felt already bored with the poem. But then I kept reading and it got really good. ...

AsxLoversxGo, Yes, I'll have to admit this was creepy, but it was good. The only thing I would advise is that you break up the whole poem into stanzas before ...