Neo Tao

Hi ilyaeelz,

I have to say, I love haikus, they're really great, this was short and sweet. Please forgive me for saying this, but I'm not too sure where you're going with this poem. Maybe you could add one or two other paragraphs with the same 5, 7, 5 format? But I totally understand the concept, and I do agree with it.

Well done! Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf

There's not really much I can say about this poem. It's pretty good considering the rules that you have to follow when writing a haiku. It's ok that you didn't write the haiku about nature. You made it work so I applaude you for that .

-lilgreendots

heh, haikus... they make me smile.

This is a good haiku, despite it not being about nature. The purpose of a haiku is typically to express things about nature. Not too many other poems are selectively for nature. Also, don't feel bad about the contractions. I write with contractions all the time myself and I think they're pretty awesome even though I'm not supposed to write with them. Why write in English if you're not allowed to use contractions?

Hi Ilya,

I must say I'm a little old-fashioned, because when I read a Haiku, I usually expect it to be about nature of some sort. Perhaps you may want to keep that in mind about original Haikus? I always think the ones about nature are the prettiest, personally. But don't get me wrong, I think the Haiku you wrote is very nice.

There isn't much I can say about this, mainly because it's one of those short poems (obviously). Usually, I wouldn't suggest to use contractions ("can't") in a poem, but in this case, I guess you have little choice. I like the bit of humour at the end-- it lightens up the poem a touch.

I really liked it as I see few Haikus pass by YWS.

Lavvi