liehart

Firstly, I appreciate the formatting of the poem, but it did mean at time it was confusing or just outorght difficult to read. If less of the poem was formatted ...

This has a really strong beginning, it doesn't waste any time and starts right where it needs to. The pacing is really effective, and the tension is really well built ...

This is a very cute story! I like that the cat is called Handsome, as its probably not his name but what he's called so much, and that he calls ...

I honestly think this is the best chapter yet. The descriptions are really well done, this time I really got a feel of the setting and how Asha felt waking ...

This is a great chapter, there's so much development! Not only in Asha and Yuni's relationship, which was expertly done. They've grown closer in the adversity but still haven't resolved ...

The first paragraph feels a little more like telling rather than showing? Despite that, the next few paragraphs definitely show and are very well written, and the character development is ...

I automatically clicked on this for the title, I'm not going to lie. I love the idea of changing the name of the song a little and therefore changing its ...

This is absolutely heartbreaking. I really like this perspective on sexism, just by speaking from the perspective of an ordinary woman and highlighting her unhappiness with life being trapped in ...

This is a very pretty poem, and I especially love how the theme of music is used throughout; it really sets the poem apart from others! I will say that ...

I like how the tension is built up at the beginning of the chapter, especially with the imagery of the sunlight and the blood, and I think you could write ...

That's a really good cliffhanger! I really like the pace of the story, and how exposition is woven in with plot points and how it moves fast without feeling like ...

This is certainly very intense, and Morano is very well written, she comes across as absolutely terrifying. This is a very interesting scene, but is just that- a scene. I ...

This is structured beautifully, with the progression to new friendship and that going away and subtly describing the loss the narrator feels a a result. Repetition is used really well ...

First some nitpicking- in the first stanza, there's an 'it's' when 'its' should be there. I love the use of exclamation and question marks in the poem, giving it a ...

I think you can cut the sentence 'she was a recluse', as it's made clear with the prior sentence? I don't know if this was intentional, but I love the ...