kimmy

it seamed kind of choppy to me---did not really have much flow. Your outline is good though (what it is about)- i really liked that! try re-writing it again with ...

i actually felt the poem i really felt it! there was pain in it...like somthing real was happening- if you get told somthing enough, sooner or later you are going ...

that was not a bad poem! i loved it! although there were a few mistakes. your amazing! please write more poems! Warm embraces coddle the young, And tell the old ...

when you lose someone close to you heart and you whole world falls apart you cant carry on but you must be strong cause pple depend on you tears fall ...

it is a good start i does have potentional to be a wonderful poem! keep up the writing....and if you decide to add to the poem, you might want to ...