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ichigo

  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Intimacy

    I really don't think that you should make it more obvious that its a guy or mention his name. I think its obvious to the people who are actually paying ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Tomorrow

    I'm not going to lie, i got a bit lost in that poem. The title doesn't give much away (which is fine) but neither did the actual poem so i'm ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Autmn Leaves

    Ummmm, that whole 'i love you very much' was not obvious at all, took me awhile to find it haha. Anyway, back to the poem. I really loved it. It ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: When I found You

    hey, i really liked the theme of this poem, i think its really rather sweet. But i do agree with the other two critiques, the rhyming and flow of it ...

    Mar 13, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: The Strangest Hero EDIT: more added

    I liked this, it was good, you kept the storyline progressing well and it was well written. I have a few issues though, the last dramatic speech bit didn't really ...

    Jan 21, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: The Vampires Kiss (Part 4)

    HI!!! ive read all of your chapters so far and am enjoying them greatly. Anyway, a few pointers, the huge chunk of writin in the middle needs to be split ...

    Nov 27, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Tree-Climbing

    I loved this so i gave u a star! Enjoy. You told us the story so well. I loved it and to think you are only 13! As your senior ...

    Oct 19, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: That guy!

    Ok so i have a few things to point out. You start with a stanza that doesn't rhyme but then in the next two it does. I think you need ...

    Oct 19, 2008


Nothing says criminal activity like strong bones. ;)
— Magebird