horsez919

YAY! Jocelyn, I love it! I'm not exactly sure what changes you made, but it's awesome! You should totally turn that one in. I like your chorus, and the ending ...

Aww Mary!! Same here for me. I mean, Christmas was a big thing, and still is, all the previous years. Then, this Christmas, I was like, "hey, it's Christmas". I ...

Very good essay, usually I wouldn't read one as long as this, but yours definately kept me reading!! I agree with you...I don't know what you want to say, but ...

oOoOoOoO I loved it!! it sounds soo good. haha uhm..well..obviously to me and other comment people the rhyming it just right..not too forced. my favorite part: Why the rush? Please ...

Hey! I love this poem! Painting on pure nothingness colors escaping filled with bliss. I love how nothingness and bliss rhyme, I never thought of using the word nothingness in ...

Hey hey Mare-ray!! I really liked this poem it flows nicely. Of course, as you read the other comments-there was a little rhyming mishap...but that's in the past, now you ...

Awesome I loved reading this chapter! least to me, there's not much to critique. ...head because I figured that if either of you screamed…it would be you… Sorry about your ...

Don't listen to offense to him. :D This is a serioius matter and it describes brilliantly how people commit suicide. Like Evolmega mentioned it does have a very deep meaning ...

Hey! I really like this poem. The rhymes fit really well too. When the world falls in, And no one knows how, Will you stay to begin? Or will you ...

Awesome poem. There was good imagery and emotionally...not intense but along the lines of that. I thought the rhythm was a bit awkward in places, not a big problem because ...

This is a very good poem-especially for your first. :D As everyone mainly said...the parenthesis were distracting and what not. Your revised version is somewhat better. I personally like them ...

Hey! I really liked your poem. Your rhyming is very good, it didn't seem forced or just too much or anything. pegasi_quill mentioned not to use the word "motionless" in ...

hey Jocelyn!! wow..i remember reading the prologue in your notebook. it does seem A LOT shorter. it took me like 3 days to read it because of other people reading...or ...

Hey! It's a nice start and like jMin actually is pretty emotionally intense. There were some grammar errors and lines that were out of least to me. I'm not 100% ...

Nice writing. Sarcasm isn't my specialty or anything but I do try. Haha. I don't really mind sarcasm unless if someone goes over the top. Like, just one comment after ...