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Re: One's Fury Chapters 1-3
Agree 100% about the use of adverbs. Helpful review, thank you!
Jun 25, 2017 -
Re: One's Fury Chapters 1-3
Hey inky, I'm really glad that you enjoy the story/concept so far, as that's really what I'm trying to push with these first drafts of the work :). Some of ...
Jun 25, 2017 -
Re: The Essence Wars - Chapter One
Funny thing about that, I had a couple lines of spacing between the scenes with the guard leaving the room, but the formatting on YWS put it all together. Shoulda ...
May 8, 2015 -
Re: The Essence Wars - An Introduction
Hey Satira, thanks a lot for taking the time to write that review. It makes sense since your criticisms reflect what I have been feeling towards my style. So you ...
May 2, 2015 -
Re: Glass Man as a Friend
Additional thing: I'm a little confuzzled about the end when you say "if you have cheated the man in the glass." Maybe I'm not very perceptive, but I can't find ...
Apr 27, 2015 -
Re: Glass Man as a Friend
Interesting concept here. I've seen many similar adaptations here, like "man in the mirror" or "mirrored self," but this has been seemingly the most effective to me. "Man in the ...
Apr 27, 2015 -
Re: Stoneslide - Chapter 12
Lively descriptions. I like. Now, keep in mind I haven't read the previous entries from this story, but dang, there are a lot of characters with names beginning in "T." ...
Apr 26, 2015 -
Re: Dream-Hunters - Chapter Five
Right on. I never use white.
Apr 10, 2015 -
Re: One Fury - Chapter 1
About that bit with "believing your own lies"... it's funny that you should mention having that stick true to his character because that's exactly the reason why I put that ...
Nov 3, 2014 -
Re: One Fury - Chapter 1
Thanks a bunch! Thanks for all the little tweaks in grammer, paying attention to those is probably where I'm lacking. A new chapter should be in soon. I was thinking ...
Oct 15, 2014 -
Re: Cole's Legacy --- Chapter 3
you still can't withstand my username? well then it's doing it's job after all. As for Viso, in appearance I guess he is similar to Tyler, but Viso is....... (I ...
Apr 5, 2014 -
Re: Network of Keys Chapter 8 part 2: Cynthia, Ghost Town
Ooooh, interesting.
Mar 30, 2014 -
Re: Maelstrom Chapter 4
Hey. Good to see you're continuing this. Your descriptions are vivid and all, but i think the dialogue might be what I really thought made this chapter shine. Its very ...
Mar 17, 2014 -
Re: Cole's Legacy --- Chapter 2
Thanks so much! It took me a while to build up those characters the way I wanted so it's awesome to hear that.
Jan 7, 2014 -
Re: Cole's Legacy --- Chapter 2
Thanks! I was hoping to build up to some point of anticipation in the next chapter, this one was mainly for character development.
Jan 6, 2014