gyrfalcon

Hey there! :) Ahhh, this was nice, being able to read one of your great vignettes without spotting a single glaring mistake (could this be because half a dozen others ...

Her fingers rest upon those demon keys: Black and White entwine in death’s embrace. Everywhere else you're very consistent with your capitalization, but here "Black" needs to begin lower-cased, as ...

He heard the hoofbeats long before the origin was visible. Maybe this is just me, but I’d chose “source” over “origin”—it almost sounds like you’re talking about the origin of ...

his human features became a black-scaled fish’s tail. Their eyes looked at each other and held the same emotion; sadness. This would seem to literally indicate that his face turned ...

a conscious thing on their part , but all of them part It is that old mark, almost as old as time itself; literally. Definitely make "literally" it's own sentence. ...

Hello, darling! It looks like you've already got a lot of line-by-lines, so I'll confine myself to general comments. In truth, it looks and feels a lot like Raven's story--is ...

Overall, a lovely piece, darling, but there are a few places I think you could trim a bit and it might make the poem tighter, a little more sleek and ...

Haha! This is delightful, darling! I've never seen anything quite like it--and to find something unique is a rarity for me. It's refreshing to see someone having so much fun ...

instead lays the hand on her back. It’s cold against her skin and she shies away from his touch, Should we assume then that her back is bare? and how ...

A beautiful piece, darling--your imagery was sublime and your word choice delightfully simple (I mean that in the most complimentary way possible, I generally abhor flowery language in poetry). As ...

the affects were devastating Should be "effects" cultured by the dark, wet, landscape and even damper spirits This is mostly just my opinion, but when you use that kind of ...

by many people from a myriad of lands Gah! It's a temple, and if I'm not much mistaken, it's a god who's talking! Bigger, grander! No god likes to think ...

The midnight of the end I know what you mean, and it's a fantastic image, but the wording is a bit awkward and makes the reader trip a bit--maybe smooth ...

Hey there! A very solid little review--where are you getting this published? Overall, there were very few problems, I just spotted a few things you might want to modify? Explain ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS! I'm glad you're taking reviews well and are eager to learn--looks like you're going to be a great addition here! My name's gyrfalcon, I'm a ...