greenjay

Yay! Yet another section in the wonderful saga :D. “Stop being stupid. The more you forbid it the more I want to help you.” “You’re something Rakari.” You forgot to ...

:shock: *turnes and glances around nervously* Gulp. Very good job! You scared me :P. I only have one suggestion. The mood in this piece is somewhat off. It starts out ...

As they traveled on Knall noticed there seemed to be something humongous and gray in the far off distance. big or large might be a better word. He suddenly wasn’t ...

Kiera raised her head and took a welcome breath of fresh air as they hovered, barely in motion in the air. you forgot that :P Aww! Poor Brad...ya, anyway good ...

" When you do your magic it will feel even more powerful and you will need to practice on taming that as well. I apologize if that is not a ...

Ahh...why didn't Seden shoot Erik? It makes some sense that he'd hide and only put the branch back after Erik left, but why waste the chance? He could have easily ...

Ah, first off there is no chapter titles, which you need if you're gonna have two chapters in one post :P. They arrived in Tvaar a week later, passing silently ...

The messenger fled, wisely believing that Anull would have little hesitation taking out his frustrations on the poor messenger. Anull slammed a fist down onto the arm of his crown ...

If he ran Tsuunai to death—if he did not spare a moment to stop. this doesn't make much sense. Tsuunai possessed magicks. no "k" in magics Sweet! I like this ...

Sorry it took me so long, I was busy :P. Ooo! More characters and more conflicts :D. Not bad, good job. -greenjay

Though J’engar-ai had expressed no intention of coming, there was an empty chair to the High King’s throne, announcing its presence though Ianna had not arrived. She arrived, as per ...

Khor reached out and touched a milky black egg and quickly left fro fear of getting caught, this brought amusement to Rakari, causing her to laugh most of the way ...

I wondered why you hadn't posted in a while. Anyway, welcome back. I didn't find any grammatical errors or anything, but I did find one thing kind of strange. The ...

I'm first :twisted: hehe! Do I get a prize :P. Okay fine, I'll shutup and critique. *Ahem* Ahh...the grammatical errors are...none. I didn't find any grammatical or spelling errors and ...

Mysteries Unraveled? FINALLY :D:D:D:D:D!!! He looked at his long black hair ; he let it hang in his eyes, looking at himself sadly. Add the bold ; thingymagig. Khor barely ...