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fireheartedkaratepup

fireheartedkaratepup

  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, General Re: nothing

    Yo Scratch! Too bad you're not on my team this time. “Hey Gumbo.,” There should only be one punctuation mark here. I would go with the period, since you're not ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: The Zombie Effect

    Your smile's so sweet Making this day feel complete This is good, but try not to fall into the trap of choosing words simply because they rhyme. I bring this ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Other » General, General Re: Rustle Of A Wing

    Yo. I'm tired. Yay. *cough* Anyway. You should not--and I want to emphasize this--put the setting in italics the way you have done. Either use one (or more, whatever) sentence(s) ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Pizarro

    Ok, I hate you. This is way too long. This is rather awesome. I will tell you right now that I am not familiar with this character, and I do ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: .

    So I thought I was the second reviewer. XP My bad. Overall, this is good. I like how you used the same phrase with different wording; it makes the reader/listener ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Goodbye

    Mornin'. This is goodbye to all of the weight that I heap on myself Typo. Easy to miss. This is goodbye to beating myself up when things go wrong It's ...

    Aug 22, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: telling of the yet untold

    Hokay. Since this is you, you'll be wanting an in-depth review. I'll try my best, but.... let's just say I'm no Mustard. I seem to better at the emotions and ...

    Aug 17, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Life of a Mountain-Inception

    EHTE *glomps* Sentence one: OHHAY, RUN-ON! :O Here's my re-write: I need a key, because I'm lame: Blue =take out Red =add in (Parentheses)=you could add this, but I'm not ...

    Aug 9, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Yahweh

    Aww, this was so sweet! It has a powerful message. It is kinda preachy, though--remember that storytelling is a journey, not a destination. This can be really, really hard--I'm still ...

    Jul 9, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: You Found Me

    OH MY ADLAJDFL;ADJL;FJAL;JDFL;JADL;FJL;AJDL;FJLA;DJFL;JASL;DJFL;AJSDL;FJADL;JFL;AJDLFJAWEJFLKJASLCVJAOJEL;J ANOTHER SEER IN DA HIZZOUSE!! *cough* You should ALWAYS, always always always always write y

    Jul 6, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Posies

    Mustard seems to have something against first person...... o.o ;3 I love this! It's wonderful. I wish I had nitpicks, but I don't--you captured the sort-of desperation of the artist ...

    Jun 28, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Sin

    I know, I'm a terrible person. HECKNAW. I'm taking an internship--Monday thru Wednesday, I'm at a house of prayer all day attending classes that are like church, only we hafta ...

    Jun 28, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Hobonaire! (parody)

    Hahaha, this was quite amusing, especially since I'm not a Bruno Mars fan. (Not sure what it is aboutthe dude, exactly, it's just.... I dunno. I don't like him.) I ...

    Jun 26, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Lampshade

    Awww. I really feel for the speaker in this song. You did well with putting a lot of emotion into your writing--and with lampshade as a prompt--! Fantastic job. I'm ...

    Jun 26, 2011
  • Other » General, General Re: Soliloquy #1: Is This Me?

    I like thought processes. I don't like the books I had to read for my worldviews class. This read like one of those. I'm torn. I'll stop using too many ...

    Jun 26, 2011


A wizard is never late. Nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to.
— Gandalf