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Re: A new life a new hope
this whole thing was one big info dump. i can't say i liked it very much. one mistake i found... So I told her I was fine and that my ...
Mar 18, 2010 -
Re: Twilight War (Mk.2)
i really liked this. at first i didn't get it, but then i realised it was just a dream :D the pictures the words formed in my mind were spectacular. ...
Mar 18, 2010 -
Re: Sun-Prolouge
hi! this really grabbed me, good work. great imagry at the start. one problem; The years she spent lieing i think that's meant to be lying awake really nice peice ...
Mar 18, 2010 -
Re: The Seasons
the shortness of the lines makes the poem kind of hard and annoying to read because they're so choppy, maybe you could lengthen them up a bit. but thats just ...
Mar 4, 2010 -
Re: random poems
gday. For your 1st poem i think the rhyme sounds a bit forced, remember that poems don't always have to rhyme. It has good rhythm though. The second poem however ...
Mar 3, 2010 -
Re: Death of the Titans Chapter 1 (Part 1)
Death of the Titans -Richard “Eh? What’s that?” I asked, getting out of my bed. “Get out of bed, you lazy bum. There’s a visitor at the door. this should ...
Mar 2, 2010 -
Re: How to save your life; prologue
I'm scared. Are you going to kill me? This prologue made me curious, it made me want to read more, so i guess it did its job. However it was ...
Mar 2, 2010 -
Re: chapter 1 ~ Fire and Ice ~ a tale of a wolf
Hi. Everyone else has beat me to pointing out your errors but nobody else has mentioned that this is a little short to be a chapter and i didn't really ...
Feb 21, 2010 -
Re: Daybreak
hi i liked really liked this poem. Its short, beautiful, etc, etc. the only thing i had a problem with was the last line. i just feel like its totally ...
Feb 12, 2010 -
Re: Losing the Talent to Write
i feel like this person, i too am losing the talent to write. people like what i wrote when i was eleven better than what i right now :( anyway, ...
Feb 12, 2010
