Published February 11, 2010
Daybreak
I see the sun,
Rising out of the night.
It almost blinds me to look.
It gives me warmth,
And it makes all things glow.
Like God is smiling down at me.
The moon is now gone,
The sun is here again.
I shall now go and have breakfast in bed.
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
I agree with Fight4whatsright, I think the last line
could've been left out, and no one would really notice.
Its very...warm, if thats a adjective for a poem. I dont
see anything besides the above with this poem, so great job!
-Kat (:
hi i liked really liked this poem. Its short, beautiful, etc, etc. the only thing i had a problem with was the last line. i just feel like its totally random and could be left out completely. but its your poem i guess...
Sometimes that happens when you have it set on poetry format.
I hope that helps.
Have a great night. I love your poem.
Fiction
Yeah, I dont know whats up with that. For all my posts the first letter is weird and i cant skip lines. Any help?
Hi there, Aristotle. I'm Conrad, and I'll be your reviewer for today.
So, I really like this poem. It's simple and short, yet is a lovely little thing; beautiful, yet not overstaying its welcome. The only thing that I really have a problem with is the second to last line. It seems as though there should be a word between "is" and "again". I would simply suggest slapping "here" in there. Also, you may want to fix your formatting on that title. Your "d" in daybreak is a little funky.
So, all in all, a very nice poem. PM me if you have any questions or comments.
Good job, and good luck.
-Conrad Rice