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Re: Alone
Hello, I agree that this was a powerful poem, though a little twizzler-ifying at the end. I don't understand why her mother left her, especially after stating some odd, cryptic ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:03 pm -
Re: "Time to Say Good-bye"
First of all, let me say that I absolutely loathe villanelles I started reading some, because I thought the concept of overt repetition sounded interesting, but the lines always seem ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:47 pm -
Re: Is it real
Hello there. I'm team jacob as well. Or, I would be, If I liked twilight at all. Anyways, I agree that repetition is not a plus, especially in such a ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:36 pm -
Re: S.E.R.E.N.A
I am also a huge sucker for acrostic poems, though some people say their simplistic and gimmicky. Though this poem was fun and sassy, and the end of the piece ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:27 pm -
Re: Don't you know?
I have to agree with snoink, adolescent did sound odd to me. Actually, I think everyone who has commented so far has had some problem with the second line. But ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:56 pm -
Re: Wild Horses Of The Sea [Edit]
That was beautiful, and awesome. And slightly silly and whimsical because, wild horses of the sea?? XD Too cool. whinnying and braying and flicking their manes, maybe this should be ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:42 pm -
Re: Underwater Kiss [EDITED]
I'm also surprised at your first attempt at poetry. GAH, how dare you be better than me??? XD Great job. Life’s most unexceptional memories resemble heaven in these moments, But ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:37 pm -
Re: Sonnet: Seas of Iron, Skies of Soot
That lie ’twixt here and the River Sea. 'twixt here could be betwixt, It wouldn't ruin your rhythm or anything, and I find it a little distracting to put apostrophes ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:28 pm -
Re: SAA: Sexually Abused Anonymous: A Memoir
This was really horrific, especially now no one said anything about it-- I hope you have better friends now. If this happened to my friend I know I would have ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 7:32 am -
Re: Where Lost Deams Go to Die
I put yes in the poll, because I always put the nicest answer for those. But you really shouldn't post polls for writing, because they give an untruthful account of ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 5:35 am -
Re: Ode to the Gambler (Victory)
Why do I always disagree with everyone else's posts??? Why??? I really enjoyed the questions, and I thought they pulled me along. Once I read the first one, I wanted ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 4:00 am -
Re: The Truth about Roses and Violets
That if you caper near the embers, you may, very well be burned no comma after the may; it's unnecessary and it flows much nicer without. But understand me when ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 3:56 am -
Re: Just Come Home
I actually liked that line a lot, but that's just me. I won't call you a coward or trader trader = traitor but that was the only nitpick I saw. ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 3:48 am -
Re: 8 Billion to One
I agree mostly with Kitty, this piece feels like it could use a little more description, and the theme isn't altogether that original, but it's a good one. I also ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 3:39 am -
Re: Just Leave.
All is silent and still. I actually think you can eliminate this line, as it is said to greater effect later in the poem, and possibly expand on the teacher ...
Sun Jan 10, 2010 3:31 am
