elijah1

Hello again. I'm here with your critique. it was everyone who knew the forests, favourite tree. What is this sentence saying? I'm a little confused. the branch underneath him snapped?” ...

Hello, and welcome to YWS. If you need anything, just PM me. You asked for a critique, so here I am. shouted the General. she replied bellowed the General he ...

Ah, hello. I'm addicted to writing horror stories, by the way. Sometimes she could hear... Sometimes? In my humble opinion, stories should tell what happens as it happens. Readers like ...

Ah, excellent. I love the writing style. However, it still needs some work. She’s in custody, your wife. You go from talking about 'your son' to 'she's in custody.' For ...

Hello. I admire this, assuming that English is your second language. Splash of water falling to the pool of a waterfall, This isn't a complete thought. In my mind, you ...

Hello Conrad. By the way, thanks for helping with my history homework about a month ago. (At least, I think it was you who helped me.) As for my critique: ...

Ah, part 2! at what he knew was going to come out of his mouth, whether or not he really wanted it to. Wait... what? Whether or not I really ...

Hello. I'm just going to get straight to the critique: Under typical circumstances, a teen who misspells their name would not get into much trouble. Perhaps chided lightly by their ...

A nice piece. That being said, here's my critique: There was fire in the heavens. How about: 'Fire was in the heavens.' Avoid using 'There was' and 'There were' to ...

Oh my, thank you so much for the warning. I was so worried about something like this happening, but now I feel prepared! In the event of a continuum quake ...

Conrad staggered through the dark, rain slicked lawns I think the word "lawns" would look better if it was just "lawn." Avoid using plural nouns when establishing a setting. Also, ...

pens out and, as always, weapons ready. Weapons ready? What weapons? At the front of the classroom was Adam, one of the original superhumans created by the Megacorporation. First, I'd ...

Hello Tony. I'm just going to critique the beginning of this today. (Don't worry, I'll critique the rest later). The study was a dark and forbidding place. This was where ...

Before I critique this, I just want to say that the content of this is impressive. That being said, there were a few problems that I found with this piece. ...

Hello, I'm going to critique this for you. Indecisively, he fiddled with the cigarette before finally flicking it into the fire. 'Fire' is used to light a cigarette, so to ...