eddykins

I agree that this is a good piece. The prose is wonderful and I like your sense of description. It creates a very wonderful ambience and I can feel the ...

I thought this was strangely dramatic for a high school story, and that maybe the ending was somewhat abrupt, but it works in this case because Penny's coming to such ...

I kind of like the simplistic style and minimalism in this. It creates a nice tone and it's easy to digest. Um, grammar-wise, you use periods in some places where ...

I definitely agree about the accent, and I kind of think that this opening is a bit too much of an infodump. I understand she's introducing herself, but maybe you ...

I didn't find anything wrong with the tenses, personally. C: I really like your sense of prose (that's something I'm struggling with a little bit myself, personally) and how you ...

I have to say I'm really not a big fan of breakup angst, but this was handled well. Cricket has a strong character voice and her reaction to Austin was ...

This has tons of potential and a very interesting setup - I haven't read the other four chapters and just stumbled on this at the YWS homepage - so I'm ...

Aha! This was very cute and amusing. I enjoyed it a lot. While I do agree it was predictable, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, and I don't have anything ...

Hello~. Your little preface caught my eye pretty quickly, so that's always a good sign. Overall, I don't have much to nitpick, but I always have trouble nitpicking original fiction. ...

Actually, this really sort of fleshes out the actual scene - even if you weren't going for realism, it felt more like it. I can totally see Edward having gone ...

I can see why it's funny, but all the swearing got to me. I think it would have been better if it weren't pretty much just the same book with ...