dragonfphoenix

Knight Dragon, here to review! Since you specifically want this focused on as a potential hook, I'm reading and reviewing with that mindset. Well, that first sentence reads awkwardly here: ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: "A simple, children's game." The comma should go. It breaks up the flow and is grammatically incorrect. "waiting for the police detective to arrive" ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Biggest thing that threw me off throughout the entire piece: punctuation, or rather the lack thereof. Second thing: spelling and grammar. First off, your title ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! First off, let me say the first reason I read this was because of the title. I am a HUGE fan of the Dada movement's ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! I must say that, for being so small, this poem is pretty good. So all of my review will be technical things. First off, with ...

Knight Dragon, here to bestow the first review of Order of the Dragons, KotGR's first knightly Order. Technical: "Once upon a time ago" That "ago" is just sitting there very ...

Wow. For such a surprisingly short work, this is really powerful. But I was missing the fabled letter e. all of the above. The only technical thing I'd comment on ...

Knight Dragon, here to bestow my 350th review upon you. Congratulations! Technical: "In my worlds, I am can be whatever and whomever I want to be" You need to pick ...

Knight Dragon, here to bestow my final review of my second Review Day. First off, I did not read the first chapter. There is no "Related Articles/Stories" link on the ...

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderfully glorious Review Day! Okay, the biggest thing I'm in want of here is punctuation. Where is it? I need commas for my ...

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day. First off, when I read that first line, I thought you meant "This ain't know PRETTY love song" and that ...

Knight Dragon, here to review on this gloriously wonderful Review Day. First off, this is a really long post. There are a ton of little breaks, but you could probably ...

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day. Technical: "Remembering past loves, my mistakes hoping these feelings are my cure." I feel like you need a comma at ...

Knight Dragon, here to review. I'm assuming this is written similar to e e cummings style, right? Anyway, the first thing that stuck out to me was the line length. ...

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day. Technical: "You try to makes bricks" Your "makes" should be "make." "To try to build a wall" It just feels ...