dmungrrl

Excellent! I know other people said you should explain what a mage was at some point at the beginning, and that would be a good idea, but I got the ...

The details of this are really beautiful. It does evoke a lot of emotion and the reader can really feel the pain of the character being narrated. I like the ...

I love the way you describe the water at the opening of this piece. The detail you go into is beautiful and I liked that you included details about all ...

First off, I love your names! They are all so cute and creative and fun! They give each character a sense of individuality and I really like that. Secondly... Daymore ...

I like this, it's a good start. The only comment I have is that it is a little choppy. I think a few more details to do a little more ...

I think you should post more of this, since I am intrigued and would love to know what happens next! I think you have a unique style of writing that ...

This is very well written! You're a talented writer. I like the story you've presented here, it's a very good read! One thing I would suggest doing would be to ...